Many times I have wondered why is it that we enjoy looking at people other than our spouses?
Why can't we automatically ignore them?
I don't want to look and enjoy the looks of other women. I have two of mine and I am very happy with them. Then why is it that when I see a women I can't ignore her right away. It takes few seconds before I realise I should not look at her. Especially if she is looking good.
For instance I know this girl. I meet her every day. She doesn't know that I am engaged. I don't become frank with new people, especially women.
She stares at me alot.
Now what I want to know is why is it that I like it when she looks at me. I try not to be near her or return her looks so that she doesn't gets any wrong message. But at the same time I like it.
Why?
I know that if she would ask me to be her friend, I wont do that. Friendship between men and women is not allowed in Islam.
So why do I like it?
Allah helped me see the answer to this question through one of my mistakes.
Recently I wanted to share some jokes with my fiances. It a one sided thing where they never reply. One of the joke was about PMS. I pasted it without thinking much of it. Later when I was thinking about it, it struck me that I have made a mistake. Islam does not allow us to make fun of others. Not to make fun of Allah's creations. PMS is nature. Hormones. Its our need. We should learn to accept it and how to live with it. Not to blame someone or make fun of someone.
This was the answer to my question.
We men have testosterone. Which makes us want to have sex. If I see a women and if she is looking good, after praising her the second thing that comes to my mind if I continue looking is to have sex with her.
I try not to stare at women. And usually men enjoy looking at women who are not properly dressed or covered. And if I see one like that my chemicals start to boil.
So the way I see it, its normal to see, enjoy and want to have sex with a women. Its our chemicals. Like PMS.
But here is what to do. Its ok to think about the ones with whom you intend to marry but the thoughts of other women are not allowed. The moment you remember that you should not enjoy other womens, you should stop. It will take few seconds for the thought to appear but it will happen and one should stop there or would be commiting a sin
There is no wrong in prasing someone. But looking at someone other than your fiance or your spouse to enjoy their private parts, praising them and enjoying the thought of touching them is a sin.
For me thats what humanity is. You can enjoy your spouses but if you start enjoying other people, than there is no difference left between us and the rest of the animal world.